New York, New York

Possibly the one bad thing about watching all these American tv shows is that so many of them are set in the metropolitan, by which I mean the towering cityscapes the likes of New York. 'White Collar', 'Castle', 'Gossip Girl' and now add 'Good Wife' to that list. They have a tendency to always either start or end on aerial shots of the city and every single time I feel a twist of angst in my heart. In particular the city of New York always gets me, what with its straight lines and central park; I am reminded why it's my favourite city. Hell, I even get all emotional when playing GTA4, particularly during the sunset. Standing over a mutilated body of some civilian with the orange lightbox background is somehow beautiful when in New York.

And it's always during moments like these that I take stock of my life. Graduating from Grammar I moved on to go to ANU. Though I am living in the city, it is nothing like the cityscapes of somewhere like New York (or even Sydney). Why is that? I know that for some - probably most - new uni students who move out to a studio in a large foreign city it's all about exorcising oneself from the parental influence. It's the same with cars and partying and yadda-yadda. I'm not in the business of pop-psychology nor am I interested in looking down on them, because personally I find nothing wrong with all that and I recognise a good number of people don't have those as their reasons.

My point is that I've never felt the need to do that. My parents and I have a very amicable, loving and supportive relationship, and at the same time, I know they know their boundaries. That line between treating me like they are my parent and treating me like they were my guardian. Should they ever cross it I merely have to tell them (I'm sure) they'll back down. I'm not about ostentatious displays of independence.

But if not to cut off parental strings, then what of the rational reasons? For that I have no answer. ANU and psychology always seemed like the right choice for me. It's just what I was going to do; I have never had any interest in going elsewhere.

Yet I have this yearning to just drop everything and move off to a city. Even somewhere nearby like Sydney could be ideal ... I have no idea what apartments right in the city are like rent-wise ... I assume expensive. I've no interest moving into a really crappy place, I'd like something that looks somewhat decent with an actual view.

In my mind moving to such a city would involve roommates and having a job, to both of which are things I am virgin, and the prospect of that experience is something that excites me. I also know that I have it very easy right now, compared to most other students, how I am legally still a dependent, and I really should have a job to alleviate my burden on my parents.

Moving out won't be an option this year, (I mean assuming I could sort out a new uni) having just signed a 12-month lease, so roommates are gonna be out of the question. But a job won't be. Perhaps that's something I can do this year. "2012: The Year Shanan Got a Job and Simultaneously Brought on the Apocalypse." Has a nice ring to it, eh?

I should stress right now, especially if you're reading this Mum, that I am not saying I desperately want to move out or am secretly planning to undercut family ties. I'm merely thinking and pondering. I have no intentions of leaving the ANU, it is definitely one of the best research universities in Australia, especially for psychology, and I'd be a fool to think of going anywhere else.

Though "2013: Year of a Roommates" seems like something you should start worrying about now.