Insulted.

Today I write about an issue that I've mentioned before. People have a hard time reading me, or more specifically, comprehending my relationship with other people. Can't blame them though, I like doing things my own way, a mentality that I've carried through to almost every aspect to my life.

Last time I bitched about teachers not understanding my "leadership" style. It's interesting how they corner themselves into a mindset that respect is something that is not only important for leadership, but that respect manifests itself within a stringent framework. Tutors sometimes see me being pinned down by a group of Year 7s or whatever, people almost 8 years my junior physically or verbally "abusing" me, or wilfully ignoring my "orders". I put those things in "s because in those situations, neither I nor the boy/s enacting it view it that way ... There is a degree of indifference, we don't take it seriously. And it pisses me off when a teacher reacts in a way where they discipline the boy for "disrespecting a senior" or whatever, and I have to break character and explicitly state that everything's fine.

Worse still is that those people then get a look in there eyes, as if thinking "you spineless coward, stand up to them!"

And I mention all this because the same problem occured last night. I was in Manuka with a few of the boys (dinner at Timmy's Kitchen, which was, OMFG, fucking delicious - best sweet and sour pork EVER). Being a Saturday night, Manuka (and Civic too, it turns out) very quickly fills with drunken people.

Inevitably, what with me standing at the rather public bus stop, a few of these boys (some boarders some not) recognise me and come over and say hi. Despite intoxication, these guys quickly swing into the routine, the language, tones and "respect" that are idiosyncratic to my friendship with them.

Objectively speaking, these comments sound incredibly rude, puerile, borderline racist, crude. So many things that could be rejected by proponents of political correctness. And I give as good as I get.

What annoyed me about last night, however, was that the friends of these guys, who were also drunk, though my friends were being totally serious, verbally/emotionally assaulting me in public. "Just drop it", they said.

My other friend, who wasn't "insulting" me, said "It's okay", parleying the information that that kind of treatment was not only tolerated, but encouraged by me. So entrenched were these boys in their narrow conceptions of behaviour that they couldn't comprehend that I was quite fine ... they went as far as to try and pull away my friend, to which I just merely laughed.

In all fairness, I wasn't as my most witty last night - I hadn't expected to bump into anyone, and thus my reactions were a little slow, a little bit muddled and less articulate, which could've contributed to them thinking I was flustered.

Let me just state here and now: Shanan Kan will almost always never be insulted by anyone, and if you witness a person insulting me, odds care me and them have an in-joke. People who do get insulted by things in this world really do take themselves seriously. You'll note I didn't go with the cliche "take themselves too seriously", where the "too" presupposes that there is a degree of self-serious-taking that is good. But that is patently untrue. No good comes from taking yourself seriously it only serves as a masturbatory fantasy to self-importance.